The Orphan by Jonah Raskin

The Orphan

by

Jonah Raskin

The other day, I watched the movie, Great Expectations, which begins in a graveyard where Pip’s parents are buried. I identified with Pip,

because he’s an orphan adopted by adults who love him & who also use him to settle old scores. By the time I was seven, I had adopted

several families or maybe they adopted me. At 17, I had half-a-dozen aliases, some of which I gave to myself, and some of which teachers 

& fellow students gave me. Forty-four years ago, when I moved to California, my newfound friends assumed I was an orphan because

I never went anywhere at Thanksgiving & Christmas, so they invited me to join their families, until I felt guilty and had to tell them I

wasn’t really an orphan. I was just pretending to be one and that I actually had a mother & father, grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins

& my two brothers who have followed me through life. The families who once adopted me are now gone, but I still have my brothers

who have the same memories I have & so I know I’m not crazy, but just a bit anxious & just a wee bit lonely in a world where I still

feel like an orphan, still gather aliases & still feel ashamed of the

bad things I did when I was a boy, the same age as the young Pip.

Jonah Raskin, author of 14 books, is Member, Editorial Advisory Board of Re-Markings (www.re-markings.com) and a frequent contributor to the journal.